Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
