What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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