I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
