So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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