I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
