I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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