i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
