Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
