i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
