"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
