and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
