A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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