Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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