Welp...herpes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
