you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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