I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
