If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
