I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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