The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
