Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
