Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
