In the future we'll all be gay
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
