Pappa wants mamma naked
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
