So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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