But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It's never too late to be topless.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
