You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We left the knife in your bed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
