so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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