i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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