Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
