Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
