one might say we're banned from that church
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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