so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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