oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
