Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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