how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
