You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The uberlube is also flammable
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
