please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
