you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
