I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
