So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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