Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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