I seem to have left my pride at pride
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
