I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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