Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
