Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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