My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
