I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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