Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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