i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
