Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
BRING THE BAGELS
i now understand why vodka
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
