I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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