Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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