This girl is more easily done than said...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
