Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.

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(419): View more from Ohio

The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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(954): View more from Florida

I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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(332): View more from

Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF

(919): View more from North Carolina

They call him magic hands is all I know.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Somethings are best left a mystery

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