Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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