Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I love having hate sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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