I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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