Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
