hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
