So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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