we're blogging at a bar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
