If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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