actually, I'm a sock model
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
