Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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