Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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