I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
