I faked an abortion last night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
