I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
