WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
