You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize